We’ve probably all fallen prey to the victim archetype at some point in our lives. And certainly, know someone else who has or does. But what does it mean to be in that role a lot of the time and how can it affect our life?
Being in the victim role, we feel sorry for ourselves. It’s as though our life is harder than anyone else’s and life just keeps throwing these things at us. Sound familiar? If you feel like this a lot it doesn’t feel good does it? Maybe getting sympathy or special allowances from others has a short term feeling of satisfaction but its really like a bottomless well that can never fill up. Because in order to feel good we can’t expect others to fill us up. We need to do this for ourselves.
There are times in life when it is appropriate to feel like a victim. Like when we have been the victim of something terrible that has happened. Depending on the impact of what has occurred, there comes a time when we no longer need to assume this role. A time to take our power back in life, in spite of what has happened. That doesn’t discount the pain, it means that it doesn’t become all of who you are.
Some of the symptoms of being in the victim archetype:
- Always blaming others or life itself when things go wrong instead of taking responsibility.
- Feeling justified in behaving
- Holding onto resentment.
The victim sees villains in everything. Money might be the villain, feeling trapped in an unhappy marriage the spouse becomes the villain, their employer, the weather, body weight or ill-health, life itself.
It’s not all bad. Being the victim is merely acting in the shadow self and the shadow in itself is not harmful but a healthy part of being human. Those who feel they must stamp out their shadow side or get the better of it are missing the point. We are multidimensional beings.
One of the gifts of being the victim is the joy of overcoming it. Seriously, those who have not spent much time here are unlikely to appreciate the feeling of having autonomy in life the same as someone who has ascended from victimhood.angel eft sessions with susan
If you are reading this because you see the victim archetype in someone else, perhaps someone you care about (or someone you feel annoyed by!!) I have also created this blog for you. You can’t yank someone out of victimhood, it’s part of their path, their choice. A caution for you is to take care not to be an enabler. Victims like enablers who help them to justify how they behave. Enablers also like victims as they like being needed and feeling helpful.
Case Study*: Marion’s son was in his forties and still living at home. He drank too much, never kept down a job and so didn’t contribute much financially to the household. When Marion broached his drinking he told her she had no idea how hard life was for him, and Marion ended up full of fear that he would harm himself and so didn’t confront him much at all. Rather, she tiptoed around him, trying to say the right thing and not upset him lest she be the cause of his binge drinking or something worse. His father left when the son was twelve, and although Marion knows this was not her fault she can’t help but feel guilty that her son grew up without a dad around.
* = (names and situation altered to protect anonymity)
You can probably see how hard it felt for Marion to stand up to her son, but as the onlooker, it is also clear that her not standing up to him was not helping things. For Marion to break this cycle of being the enabler she needed to stop seeing herself as being at fault for the father leaving, working on her own self-worth. Then she was able to have better boundaries with her son and stop feeding into his victim mindset.
Victim Mentality vs. Victor Mentality
If you think of victim mindset being low down on the vibrational scale, maybe 0-3 and Victor mentality being 7-10, here are some example corresponding opposites. Click here to download the Angel EFT Vibrational Scale
Complaining about things always being too expensive vs. Being open to the possibility of manifesting the money to buy the thing you desire, or finding a less expensive but even better option.
Putting spouse down and implying that it’s hard to be with them vs. Seeking out and noticing what is good about spouse and being grateful for that.
Think of areas or times in your life when you recognise you have felt like the victim. Note down the thoughts you have when you feel this way and write out an alternative thought. Follow the video to see how you might use Angel EFT to help overcome a pattern of being the victim.
About the author: Susan Browne helps people to feel great in their energy and achieve their goals. She provides 1:1 sessions in person and online – Life Coaching to help you to say yes to your divine blueprint – Coaching for Writers and Angel EFT sessions. She is the author of ‘Angel EFT, tap into the Angelic Realms with Modern Energy EFT’ available from the Book Depository free worldwide delivery.
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