Do you struggle with setting healthy boundaries?
Are you a sensitive soul who often finds yourself depleted or burned out from putting other people’s needs first?
As a lightworker*, it’s important to prioritise your own well-being to continue helping others in the best way possible – if that’s what you love to do. Lightworkers have a natural inclination to help others. However, it’s important to remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re constantly giving without taking the time to replenish yourself, you’ll eventually burn out. This is where setting healthy boundaries comes in.
First, it’s important to recognise that boundaries are not about building walls or shutting people out. Instead, they’re about creating a healthy balance between your own needs and the needs of others. When you set boundaries, you’re communicating what is and isn’t acceptable to you. By setting healthy boundaries and standing up for yourself, you’ll be able to continue your important work with renewed energy and strength. But you know all this already, right? Many people do, and yet the lesson keeps on cropping up.
* Lightworkers are often described as being sensitive, empathic, and intuitive, and on a spiritual path – and identify with a sense of dedication to bringing light, love, and healing to the world.
Saying No to Say Yes
If you find it difficult to say no, try a simple yet effective tip: “I’m not sure, I’ll come back to you soon about this.” This gives you time to sit with the request and consider the balance of the scales. Is it going to put you out too much/take too much energy? Remember, it’s okay to say no without feeling the need to justify your decision. People don’t always need a reason.
Saying no doesn’t make you unkind, it simply means that you’re honouring your own boundaries and priorities. Sometimes we need to say no to others in order to say yes to ourselves. If we’re always agreeing to do things, even though it means we don’t have time to do what we really need to do for ourselves, we’re sabotaging our own happiness. How can we truly be on a path of light and help if we’re stuck in this behaviour?
Standing up for Yourself
When it comes to standing up for yourself, it’s essential to communicate when someone has overstepped the mark. If you struggle with expressing yourself in these situations, it could be a throat chakra issue. Consider asking Archangel Michael to infuse your throat chakra with light and help you speak your truth with love.
Remember, setting boundaries is an ongoing process. It’s important to check in with yourself regularly and reassess your boundaries as needed. You may find that your boundaries need to shift depending on your current circumstances or relationships.
Invocation:
“Archangel Michael, please help me now to express myself clearly so I can stand up for myself. I choose to speak my truth with love and to be an advocate for myself and others with my words. Help me to release any fears that I may have been holding in my throat chakra now. Allow me to invoke your light-warrior energy when needed so that I can deal with this in the best way possible. Thank you. It is done.”
Using “I” rather than “You” Statements
One effective way to set boundaries effectively is to use “I” statements. For example, instead of saying “You’re making me feel overwhelmed,” you could say “I feel overwhelmed when there’s too much on my plate.” By using “I” statements, you’re taking ownership of your feelings and needs without placing blame on others.
This can be especially challenging for lightworkers who tend to be empathetic and compassionate. When someone oversteps your boundaries, it’s important to address them in a respectful and assertive manner. You can start by acknowledging the behavior and how it made you feel. For example, “When you spoke to me in that tone, I felt disrespected.” From there, you can communicate your boundary and what you expect moving forward. For example, “In the future, I expect to be spoken to with respect.”
“Practise saying it out loud.”
It’s important to remember that you can’t control other people’s behavior, but you can control how you respond to it. By standing up for yourself and communicating your boundaries, you’re sending a message that your needs and feelings are valid and deserving of respect.
If you struggle with expressing yourself in these situations, consider using visualisation or journaling as a tool. Visualise yourself calmly and confidently communicating your boundary to the person. Write out what you want to say ahead of time and practice saying it out loud.
Another helpful technique for standing up for yourself is to set a time limit for the conversation. This can help prevent the conversation from spiraling out of control and give you a sense of control over the situation. For example, “I only have a few minutes to talk, but I wanted to address something that happened earlier.”
Finally, remember to take care of yourself after setting boundaries or standing up for yourself. It can be emotionally draining to have these conversations, so make sure to take time to rest and recharge afterwards.
Love and Light, Susan
About the author: Susan Browne helps people to feelgreat in their energy and achieve their goals. She provides 1:1 sessions in person and via Zoom. She is the author of ‘Angel EFT, tap into the Angelic Realms with Modern Energy EFT.’
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